The Elder Zone
Introduction
You're traveling through another dimension — a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination[1]. It is an area we call... The Elder Zone.[2]
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Every moment you live and die simultaneously.
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Not long ago, he stood upright and strong.
He could walk, lift, bowl if he wanted (he didn’t), peruse book stores by the dozen, and read for over half an hour without falling asleep.
Life pushed him into The Elder Zone in fits and starts, an inexorable journey littered with intermittent aches and pains, new pills, old pills, depression, anxiety, and a conveyor belt of ineffective snake-oil salespeople who limit their compassion to fifteen minutes per body part but come with initials after their names.
In The Elder Zone, you learn that medicine may not be as certain or humane as you expected.
But you will get much more of it (medicine, that is).
One day, a Mack Truck rear-ended him, totaling his car and herniating discs he didn’t know he had.
He asked his doctor what he would do if it were his back.
His doctor responded, “I would ask for my money back.”[3]
Where is he now?
Our friend, not yet ready for a more detailed analysis, couldn’t help but notice a few things, such as:
· His primary destination had become the grocery store.
· When he went to the grocery store, he avoided buying anything that was way down at the other end of an aisle.
· Most of the time, he walked like Frankenstein, stumbling, shuffling, falling more times than he cared to admit.
· Even his rollator laughed at him.
It was increasingly apparent that his life has an expiration date.
As his vision deteriorates, it becomes harder to discern.
What can he do?
If you are approaching or already in The Elder Zone, let me share a few tips for navigating through it.
Rule Number One: Our ultimate goal, collectively, as a species, is to learn and grow wiser, to transform aging into sage-ing[4].
My goal is to arm you with strategies for this journey.
I will discuss the importance of getting real about where you are on The Elder Zone map.
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Unless you want to accept the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,”[5] we should give some time to the importance of living with purpose and “taking arms against a sea of troubles.”
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I will cover the basics of elder fitness: mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual.
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Contemporary social scientists tell us that our entire culture, especially in The Elder Zone, are suffering an ice age of social interaction.
Much toner has been expended on why social isolation is the new cancer.
Is it as black and white as: you have a party at your house once a week, or you don’t come out of your room for a year?
Is it a one-size-fits-all theory?
In other words, do all humans need some degree of social interaction?
If so, is there a formula that applies to each of us?
What about introverts, religious monks, misanthropes, and trauma victims?
If your next-door neighbor is a psychopath who has a basement full of Nazi memorabilia, would you recommend more social interaction for him?
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As a lawyer of 45 years who has worked on many estate plans for middle-class people, I cringe when I meet a widow whose husband left her vulnerable, especially with Mr. Musk running amok at the SSA.
I will share a few truisms about the legal side of aging.
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I will share my opinions about financial planners.
I was a Certified Financial Planner from 1990-2023.
That, in and of itself, gives me no cause to hold myself out as an expert on much of anything in the financial planning business, but I have observed a lot and interacted in a lot of situations where financial planners worked.
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From there, we will follow the path of the sage – if we can find it - and age with grace.
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Carpe diem tempus fugit[6]
[1] Not. It’s all too real.
[2] My older readers will recall this introduction from the one recited by Rod Serling at the beginning of each episode of one of the gems of 22-minute programs in black and white known as The Twilight Zone. For the unfamiliar, I invite you to take a look back on the Internet. If you are a lover of a good short story, you will not be disappointed.
[3] For my critics, I am fully aware that is too many “backs,” but I didn’t know what to do about it.
[4] A phrase borrowed from the book by Zalman Schacter-Shalomi and Ronald S. Miller. From Age-ing to Sage-ing: A Profound New Vision of Growing Older (1995)
[5] From Hamlet: "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And, by opposing, end them."
[6] Seize the day. Time flies.