Mandatory Retirement?

A Modest Proposal

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I really want to preach the gospel of Ryan Holiday, a sage living in our midst, but I just finished Original Sin by Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson and felt compelled to speak out about it.

For the unfamiliar, the book is about how the Democrats covered up and grappled with Joe Biden’s dementia during the last presidential campaign.

‍ At one level, it is about one more political cover-up. ‍

This is a persistent problem with our system of government.

At another level, it is about an honorable man’s descent into dementia, a cautionary tale for all of us flirting with eighty: a man who had dedicated his life to public service while suffering the loss of a wife, two of his four children, one of whom had White House potential, not to mention the substance abuse and criminal problems of his surviving son.

It’s easy to blame the Democrats for circling the wagons around Joe and keeping the hard truth of his dementia from the public, the party, and, most importantly, from Joe himself.

But if you do, you run into a pot calling a kettle black.

It is a bipartisan issue.

As I write this, the Republicans are covering up Mitch McConnell’s condition.

They covered up Reagan’s cognitive challenges for who knows how long.

Then there were Nixon’s criminal activities.

Now the Republicans get to cover up DJT’s madness and his fecal incontinence (doesn’t smell like teen spirit).

Democrats also covered up Kennedy’s Addison’s disease, not to mention his sex addiction.

They covered up FDR’s polio for as long as they could.

Covering up occurs on both sides of the aisle.

Covering up the dementia of a Commander in Chief, a guy with his finger on the nuclear button, is a serious variation of this problem.

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We are all living longer.

More people are living to be a hundred or older.

That doesn’t mean our brains were designed to last that long.

Some level of dementia, from increased forgetfulness to full-blown Alzheimer’s, is becoming more common in those who approach the end of The Elder Zone. ‍

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Humor Break

George Burns tells the story of how, as he grew older, he could not remember names: a common problem among residents of The Elder Zone.

His solution was to call everyone “Kid.”[1]

This worked great until one night, when he was at a cocktail party and found himself in the position of having to introduce one Kid to another.

What did he do? “I just quit going to cocktail parties.”

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I practiced law for 45 years.

Most of my friends were lawyers, and most of them were older than I was, often by about twenty years.

That means that I was hitting 55, and they were in their mid-to-late 70s.

And, obviously, when I was 60, they were 80.

And 80, my friends, is the magic number.

I watched their skills and energy decline in their 70s.

Some practiced law into their 80s; those who did should not have.

We need to get real about how far we can push our brains to function coherently and rationally.

Congress should pass a mandatory retirement act requiring all federal employees to retire by age 77.

We cannot expect these people to voluntarily retire because they have become increasingly incoherent and should recognize that about themselves.

Once people gain power, many will not give it up, no matter how apparent it becomes that their cognitive challenges increase with age.

And the lackeys, the sycophants, and the flying monkeys who live off of them are not going to tell the Emperor that his new clothes are see-through.

My proposal includes the President, all Supreme Court Justices, Congressmen, Senators, and staff.

If they run for a term during which they will turn 77, they still must retire on their 77th birthday.

Why 77?

It’s a good number, and it’s as good a place to draw the line as any.

We deserve a government of men and women with sound minds.

After we rejuvenate the synapses of government, we will get to lawyers, doctors, nurses, electricians, rodeo clowns, and barbers.

Barbers?

Yes, barbers. ‍

There was a recent case out of Utah in which a 90-year-old barber cut a man’s ear clean off.

Witnesses say it was like the old guy just sort of fell asleep barbering.

He had never done it before, they said, so there was no reason to expect it this time.

Had he retired at 77, one man would still have both of his ears.[2]

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Now, where was I?

Oh yes.

Ryan Holiday …

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[1] JFK, who had so many women he could not keep their names straight, also used this method.

[2] This may be apocryphal. Some of the witnesses themselves have been accused of dementia.

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